This post builds on my last one, titled “No Shortcuts.” But this time, I want to talk about a mistake I see so many people make in life: fixating on goals in a way that ultimately leads them astray.
Don’t get me wrong—if you’re in a bad situation, having goals can be helpful at first. Do whatever you need to do to get from a bad place to a better one. But once you’ve stabilized, it’s time to take a step back and really question whether your goals are serving you—or trapping you. Personally, I’m not a fan of goals. They’re often too short-sighted and can lead people to a life they never truly wanted.
The Mind’s Tricks: Good vs. Bad Addictions
The human mind is tricky. It can pull us into destructive habits like addiction, but it can also lead us into “socially acceptable” addictions—like the relentless pursuit of success. When people start gaining recognition, they often double down on the behaviors that earn them praise, chasing more and more validation.
The problem is, whether the addiction is viewed as “good” or “bad,” both can be equally damaging. In both cases, we’re being led by feelings rather than conscious choice. One addiction gets looked down on, while the other is celebrated—but they’re two sides of the same coin.
Why Most People Get Lost in Their Goals
This is why I believe most people pursue goals in a way that’s counterproductive. I get it—everyone wants something to commit to, especially if they’ve had role models encouraging them to strive for better. And in today’s world, with unlimited access to information, that should be easier than ever.
At first, setting goals feels like a simple, effective way to create direction. But this is where the mind plays tricks on us.
We set a goal, and we fixate. And in that fixation, we lose our way.
Once we’ve overcommitted—once we’ve put in years of effort and started receiving validation for it—very few people can course-correct. The goal takes over. Instead of checking in with ourselves, we get swept up in external expectations and glorifications. We stop living for what we truly want and start living for how others perceive us.
The Alternative: Direction, Not Fixation
Rather than obsessing over specific goals, I believe it’s more important to focus on a direction. Instead of fixating on an endpoint, constantly reassess:
• Am I still on a path that aligns with my values?
• Have my experiences changed what I want?
• Am I living for myself, or for others’ expectations?
Self-mastery isn’t about blindly committing to a single goal—it’s about staying aware, adapting, and ensuring that what you’re working toward still holds meaning. A great place to start; define your purpose and meaning in alignment with your morals and ethics.
A Cycle of Growth, Not a Fixed Path
Self-reflection isn’t a one-time event—it’s a constant cycle. There will be phases where you focus on gaining knowledge and experience, but you must remain aware of whether you’re doing it for the right reasons. Every day brings new insight, new lessons. If you stay adaptable, you gain wisdom. If you become rigid, you get stuck.
Stay true to who you want to be. Don’t let validation from others dictate your direction. Take note of feedback, but don’t accommodate it.
The Danger of Blind Commitment
I know—we all crave clarity. We want life to be simple, defined, structured. But that’s just another trap of the mind. We blindly commit to something, thinking it will give us security. Then we focus only on reaching the end goal, forgetting to question whether it’s still the right one.
This is the death of a soul.
I see this all the time with people and their horses.
The Horse Analogy: When the Soul Leaves
Riders fixate on what they think is correct. They ignore the horse’s feedback, forcing their idea of control instead of listening. Over time, the horse loses its spirit. That hollow look in their eyes, that’s a soul that has checked out.
Once a horse reaches that point, it’s done. It will never be what it once was, because a piece of its natural curiosity and desire has left forever. The human never acknowledged it, so for the horse to survive, its soul had to leave.
It’s harsh, but people aren’t so different.
So, What’s Worse?
What’s worse—being misled by the tricks of your own mind, or surrendering to the advice of the “successfully corrupt”? Why would you willingly choose to lose your soul, just to fit into a system that doesn’t care about you?
The Harder, but Truer Path
I know—this path is more difficult upfront, but over time, it’s the only one that leads to real fulfillment. Define your life in a way that forces you to constantly question it. Don’t let your mind push you into an illusion of certainty.
Don’t let your thoughts take you somewhere you don’t want to go.
And definitely don’t let others tell you where you should be going.
Only you know your path.
Only you can figure out what it is.
Take ownership of your life by relentlessly questioning it.
Don’t get caught up in superficial fixations.
